To My Client & His Wife

I just got a call from a client’s wife. And by “client” I mean i only met the guy ONCE.  He says it was his first and only time doing a pay-for-play gig, but I’ve heard that before, and it doesn’t really matter anyway.

Turns out they’ve been married for 1 year and he just found out that she’s been cheating on him for months. So now, not only is he crying about it, but he wants to make sure she doesn’t find out about the 1 time he cheated on her!! In other words…preserving his dignity to someone who clearly doesn’t give a CRAP about him or their relationship, is important to him!

Well, I gave him a 30 minute tough love session and boy do i wish i could go over and kick her in the ass too! But I just need to vent a little, and here’s my take on it all:

TO HER (the bitch wife):  You lack integrity. You lack self respect. You lack self love. You told your husband that you cheated on him because he didn’t give you enough. He feels he gave you everything. I suspect everything would never be enough for someone like you. If you weren’t getting what you wanted from your husband, then you should have left him. Get a divorce and then go frolicking around in adultery land, ok? THAT’S the dignified way to do it – THAT’S INTEGRITY! Instead, you hump around and THEN when you find out he’s done the same to you in an act of defiance – as a reaction to your adulterous behavior…you think you have the right to get upset!! You think the blame lies with him!! You cheated on your first husband and now you’ve cheated on your second husband! Are they BOTH to blame??

You have serious issues that need addressing, ok? Calling me to verify what you believe to be true is a waste of your time and mine. YOU ARE A CHEATER!! Look at YOURSELF! Stop yelling at your husband and take a good look at yourself! You are a HYPOCRITE. You will go through the rest of your life serving only yourself. You lack compassion and understanding. Anyone who truly respects themselves could not be the kind of person that you are.

TO HIM (the betrayed and betraying husband): Go home. Confront your wife. Tell her your relationship is O-V-E-R. Tell her you have wasted enough tears and heartache over her.

Please believe me when I tell you that this woman is not worth the dirt you are standing on. She cheated once, she cheated twice – SHAME ON YOU! Where is your self respect? Where is your self-love?? You’re mourning over a woman whose behavior shouts “I DON’T CARE ABOUT ANYONE BUT MYSELF!!”  You’re crying over a woman who, by cheating on you, has basically said “i don’t care if i lose you.”

Why would you want to cry and lose sleep over THAT?? Why do you care about maintaining some form of dignity to her by denying what you have done as well? Well, of course…your ego. Get over it – work on yourself. Cut this woman out of your life, get a personal coach, and work on your issues!

No one with a healthy amount of self respect and self love allows themselves to cry over someone who clearly cares about no one but themselves. So you wasted 1 year of your life with her! Maybe there were even some good times…some laughs. Well, guess what?! They’re over and done with. It’s time to move on. It’s time to start believing that you’re worth more and that you deserve better!

Life craps on all of us, ok? The ones who survive…the ones who emerge with their diginity and integrity and self respect intact, are the ones who understand that it’s not about the challenges that are thrown at us…it’s about how we handle those challenges…how we approach them…whether we let them get the better of us, or whether we say “bring it the f*** on!” and do the very best we can to conquer them!

So stop your crying over there in the public diner, ok? Be a man, strap on a pair, go over to the ol wifey and cut her loose. Tell her she’s not worth your time or your tears. Tell her you want that divorce NOW. Tell her if she contests ANYTHING you will take those 70 pages of emails proving her adulteration and your lawyer will rake her over the coals with them. Tell her you feel sorry for her because she will never know love as long as she can’t see beyond herself.

And then do yourself a favor…believe it.