Oral Sex…Just for the Men?

I was reading a comment today from a woman who complained that oral sex makes her feel like a sex toy. That despite the fact that her man loves her, he felt entitled to the blow job. She didn’t like the way oral sex “for him” did nothing for her. There were definitely elements of “i’m not getting it back in kind” in her complaint, so I can understand why she might feel some inequity in the oral sex exchange. But here’s the thing:

Men and women are different. We think differently, we behave differently, we are motivated differently, we communicate differently…..just about everything is different! The fact is that for men, the penis rules. I’m not being facetious…I’m not waxing cliche about how many minutes in the day men think about sex. I’m telling you that MUCH of what men do is determined by the wants and needs of their penises. It’s biology. It’s DNA.

It takes a strong man to challenge his own DNA and most don’t. It’s what keeps me in business really. As humans we are motivated by pain or by pleasure. If a man can get a blow job, why on earth would he turn it down? Why wouldn’t he want, at every opportunity he could get, to feed the very thing that defines him? To take it personally simply doesn’t make sense.

I actually find the man’s penis-predicament very empowering. It’s a simple equation: Penis Wants Attention = Man Needs a Women to Satisfy That Need for Attention = Woman Has the Power.

It’s a shame that so many women take the “job” part of “blow job” as literally as they do. It’s a task…it’s a pain…it’s not a priority. In doing so they succeed in pushing their partners away. So guess what the penis does when it isn’t getting attention? That’s right…most of time it looks elsewhere. And if it’s not looking elsewhere it’s harboring resentment toward the person who holds the power (see above equation for the person who ultimately holds the power).

If women could learn to feel this kind of empowerment – and not take advantage of it, or use it for leverage – they could form a loyal bond with the penis (and, by extension, their partner) and enjoy a whole new approach to oral sex.